Change

Sometimes when bored I do what everyone dose but won't admit and I facebook stalk. I still don't consider myself lucky sometimes because of loosing someone so close to me. I see peoples profiles that say they are blessed and so happy with their life and I couldn't imagine a day where I would feel the same way without bestest here. 


Then I got to thinking... It's not what you don't have it's what you DO have that makes you life blessed. I have a amazing family that loves me for everything I am and everything I'm trying to be. I have learned the past 6 month who my true and wonderful friends are and been graced with their shoulders to cry on and hands to hold. I have a great job with co-workers that teach me something new every single day and allows me to not rely on my parents for money at all anymore. An oh so patient boyfriend who has stuck by my side through my emotional roller coaster this past year. I have health, great genes, a car, a roof, and a new little puppy that I just can't get enough of.


I can't help but to think bestest had a part of this, but I also know my attitude and perspective had a lot to do with it. After bestest died I felt like everything was going down hill in my life. I couldn't find a job, I was on an emotional roller coaster and couldn't see the end. I felt like everyone around me was living their life. My roommate was getting vacations handed to her left and right to get her mind off things and I felt like no one really understood how I was feeling. I come from a family of there is time to heal then there is life and you have to move on.


Then I changed myself. I realized that in order to be happy again I was the only who could do that. I thought about bestest and exactly what she would've wanted. She worked so hard for her job and her happiness and that's what I was going to do. If I could hear her she would say "get over it. get up get a job. stop crying and be happy for what you have." and the one quote she ALWAYS told me when I would come to her for advice. "if your happy then I'm happy for you reese." I was reading through an old journal and I had written that quote down with her name and it just clicked in my head.... so I changed my life. I did what I needed to do to be happy again. If I'm happy then she's happy for me. And as the title of this blog. I'm bringing myself back to life.


As you might be able to tell this blog will be a little roller coaster too. You just never know....I just never know.