Ed's advanced white belt test 4

the little ones...

Couple of weeks ago I went to a friend of mines baby shower and got to see the wonderful and growing up so fast SQUISHY! He's becoming quite the handsome little fella and will soon have all the girls fighting over him:

Then this past week Jeffy and I traveled to Waco to watch my oldest nephew play in one of his last baseball games of the season. I couldn't believe how some of the parents/grandparents were with these darling little 8 and 9 year olds. I mean they were into winning this game. It was too cute watching these little guys though, some of them got so upset when they struck out and others just couldn't wait to get back in the dug out to hang out with their friends.

My youngest nephew and Jeff volunteered to be the score keepers and hung out in the score booth the whole game. They were too cute up there. Ed was taking it so very seriously and Jeff was just having fun listening to Ed ramble on with his impressive vocabulary.

All in all it was a great trip down to see my sis and her family. Those boys are going to be teenagers before I know it! Here are A LOT of pics form the evening in Waco:

you can't tell but Lee's team is the Rangers and I'm wearing an old Rangers Little League jersey in support.

Ed and Jeffy heading up to keep score

LeeMo up to bat

Score keepers goofing off

I just ADORE this picture ^

That's all for now folks. Happy Monday.

The Big Move

I would love feed back from this post, even if you stumbled upon it and don't even know me or anything about me.

Come June my lease will be up and I have defiantly decided I am too old and too OCD for a roommate anymore. Jeff and I will be together 3 years in June. Yes we talk about the future and marriage and kids but we are not ready for marriage quite yet. We both would like to be more stable in our own lives before we get married. We spend all of our free time together and no each pothers habits good and bad. My question of the day is what is your opinion about living together before marriage? I'll give you a little bit of my opinion plus my moms...they are VERY different.

Me- To me it just makes sense to move in with someone before you marry them. Goodness you learn so much about a person when yo live with them. I mean how many friendships have been ruined from living together. Also were not thinking about moving in together so we cans hack it up every night. My mom's generation everyone got married young so they could make babies so to speak. Flash forward 35 years and times have changed. Money is a huge factor too for me. instead of spending $800 a month on rent plus paying all utilities alone I'd be around 1grand a month, split 2 ways though would save $500 a month. That's a lot, and Jeff and i's argument for not getting married int he next year is that we both want to have some more money saved up. My parent generation is so different then mine and we do butt heads on certain issues and opinions. I will however never make this move with out their blessing. Their opinion and and how they think of me matters the most and if they say come closer to June they would be heartbroken then $1000 a month it'll be.

My mom- Just plain out thinks you shouldn't be living together till marriage. I know my dad doesn't like the idea but I have a feeling when he hears some of my reasons for it he might be easier to persuade then mom. Dad likes to act like the tough one sometimes, but he's really not. I honestly think they might think Jeff will move in with me and not like me anymore haha. Anyway she's open to the idea for discussion but she's not for it at all right now. She's claiming if we were engaged it would be OK, but we're not mom. And she adds all these studies about people who get divorced because they lived together first. I find those to be full of it. Unless you are interviewing the WHOLE population it's not an accurate number.

Anyway there is my question of the week so let me know what you think. I really would love some outside opinions on either side.

Thank blogworld

MindOverHeart

A couple of weeks ago I got to thinking about something my therapist said to me when I first met her. (I no longer go, that's a whole other story) Anyways I was explaining what happened to bestest and Adam and she stopped me in the middle and asked me if I realized I was talking about them in present tense. I didn't realize it but I also didn't see anything wrong with it. She explained that might be why I'm kind of stuck in this in between stage of grieving. First of all I believe after something tragic happens such as death there is no right way to grieve, no time limit on where you should be in the process (one of the reasons I stopped seeing her). She said that in my mind I know what happened and that they are not hear and that's why I am able to talk about the story of how they passed. But in my heart I don't even except it. She said in my heart I still think of them as alive which is why I talk about them in the present and why my emotions don't take over me when talking about them. 

GREAT! Maybe it's just me but I would love to always be able to think of someone as still here with me and not burst into tears every time I talk about them. Maybe it's not healthy in some peoples eyes. But what is healthy? What is the correct way to cope with the death of a loved one? 2 loved ones? back to back? News Flash: THERE IS NO CORRECT WAY.! so I guess now you can kinda figure out why I stopped seeing her. Don't get me wrong she was super sweet and I guess I'm just not up for the whole "I can feel them in the room right now as your talking about them", No you can't because bestest would probably slap me and tell me to stop wasting money on you. But that's me. I know a lot of people who Therapy has helped and done a great deal of good for them. 

One thing she also said to me is I like to do things on my own or in my own way. Very true, which should have been a red flag that I wasn't going to want her help. 

In my mind I can remember everything that happened. But in my heart it never did. Both of their phone numbers are still in my phone. I finally stopped texting bestest when someone else replied. (That was a weird moment). But I can't find myself to look at picture and just start crying. I guess to me I associate death with growing old, being sick, an accident, but not dying in your sleep when your 24 years old. There is something about that to me that I cannot grasp and probably never will and I'm perfectly OK with that. I guess where this post might be going is that don't let anyone tell you how to emotionally deal with something. Sure I had a rough time, I still am having a rough time, but I'm doing it at my own pace and I'm working through it and living through it in a way that is best for me.


I'll leave you with a few oldie but goodie pictures of bestest and I.

Bestest turns 21

The night we survived our car wreck

Never a dull moment

 First time we saw each other after her Europe trip

LoveMyBestestWithAllMyHeart!

Oh Halloween...

So I've never really jumped on the Halloween dress like a playboy bunny ban wagon. Honestly I think I only enjoyed Halloween freshman year of college and my friend Melissa and I dressed as the mafia (blank pants, suspenders, white tank, and a hat). Other then that I've always had a test the next day and never went out or for the past 4 Halloweens I've been working at the bar, (It's too good of a night).

But I've never really been into it like most of the girls in Austin are. See here it's pretty much an excuse to dress up like a Victoria secret model, put animal ears on your head and call it a day. I always have a hard time coming up with costume ideas that are 1. warm 2. I'm able to work in and 3. don't look like every other girl walking down 6th street. This year I really wanted to be a dinosaur, weird I know but it was different. I've searched and searched and every costume out there is like a huge Barney Costume. So if someone reading this knows of one thats cute and I won't suffocate in let me know. Or feel free to invent one for next year, I think it'd be a HIT!

So my next idea is a ballerina. It's simple, easy and cheap. Already have the shoes, tights and leo. Just need the tutu which I know of of about a gazillion places to find one. I originally got the idea because of Black Swan coming out december 1st. If you have not seent he trailer please please please play it below. It looks simply amazing. Anyways I thought about being the black swan but then I realized the the world is not as into dance and ballet as I am and some might not get it, that is until after the movie. And now I'm sure every girl will be a black swan next Halloween.

Then I found this in VS online and thought why not just be a normal ballerina:

Obviously my tata's will not be out like that and the tutu will be some what longer, but I think this is a very classy look for Halloween. This was like $200 on VS and is now sold out so I'm creating my own version. Oh and I'll need a tiara of course and my hair in a bun. 

BLACK SWAN - Official HD trailer

just click it...

LMAO

the prize in my cereal box...

i am a sucker for love stories. hopeless romantic at heart 100%. i always believed one day i would have my own fairytale to tell. then i realized you create your own fairytale in life. the way jeffy and i met and started dating is in no way a fairy tale. but looking back now i see what an amazing story we have created and how far we have come and grown together. being the hopeless romantic i am i could look back and tell you exactly when i knew i loved jeff and that he was the one for me...and i will in a minute. let's start from the beginning. 

jeffy and i were both working downtown in different bars but really met each other through a mutual friend. one of my bartenders was friends with him and we started going over to see jeff when we were on break. at the time i was in a long distance relationship and blindly in love with a cheating 30 year old. (don't get me wrong im thankful for that relationship now because it led me to jeff.) so i always thought jeff was a cute but never did anything to show it because i was dating someone, though jeff will tell you i used to call him my texas boyfriend (i do not remember this nor think it's true). anyways i went out one night with jen (my roommate then and now) and some girlfriends i think to meet up with some hockey players? i was fresh out of my break up with the 30 year old in jan of 08 and just looking for some good girl time. we happend to end up at jeffs bar. i had gone upstairs to say hi to him and we got to talking about me being single and such. jeff was up there with adam (who passed away in may of 09). and once jen came to find me, adam and jen realized they knew each other. This is the exact time the 4 of us all started hanging out and dating. after the boys got off work they met us girls at ihop. we all sat around ate some breakfast, flirted a little then started walking to our cars. this is when jeff first kissed me. yes you kissed me first get over it. ihop parking lot, romantic right? it is now though because thats our place and it's our own story. i remember telling bestest this and her response was "classy reese". 

After that night we began hanging out casually, neither one of us was looking for anything serious, we just hung out in groups of mutual friends and bartenders. jeff's older brother biggie was dating one of my friends joy and i remember joy telling me that at some point we were going to have to talk about where this was going. we hung out casually for about 4 months just having fun and getting to know one another. i dont think we ever hung out more then twice a week during that time. in may of 08 we hit a little bump in the road that really changed our relationship. we both kind of realized that feelings could get hurt and we were more involved then we had thought. from that point on we've pretty much been inseparable. over the next year we met each others families started hanging out more just the two of us and really just enjoyed each others company. carved pumpkins, went on adventures in austin and learned more about ourselves too.we also realized how completely different we are. it really is an opposites attract story for us. we had fights and we had great dates. 

then in may of 09 adam died. it was adams birthday and luckily jeff and i went out for an hour to see him and say hi. everything went downhill after that night. we both were dealing with it differently, me not dealing with it at all. jen and adam were still dating at the time and i was till living with jen which made things even harder. then 1 month later bestest (brandy yeoman) died. it sounds strange but this is when i realized i loved jeff. i spent a few days in ohio (where bestest passed away) then a week in houston dealing with funeral and so on. i remember sitting on the couch at bestest's moms house trying to get the obituary just right. jeff had texted me and sent him something back saying "i can't believe i lost my best friend. im writing her obituary right now, this isn't real" and all he said back was "she's still your best friend reesa". it was the most perfect thing anyone had said to me the past week. i knew then that i loved him. 

i had a rough time that summer. a lot of built up anger inside of me and i took a lot of it out on poor jeffy. i think a part of me had something against him because he never really knew bestest, she had moved to houston when we first started dating then to ohio. a part of me felt like he couldnt help me because he never knew her. they had met once or twice but that was it. then one night we had gotten into a big fight and were sitting at the park talking and fighting and said to me "what would brandy tell you about this right now if you asked for her advice" that just again was a perfect thing to say. it just showed me how he was thinking about her and my friendship and he knew i was missing my bestest friend. thats when i knew he was the one for me. 

i realized later on how much i was stressing him and how much he was just taking it because he knew i was going through a hard time. and we have communicated so well since then and really put effort into being the best for each other. i think fighting is healthy in a relationship, in small portions. these people who get married because everything perfect and you dont fight. well thats a load of crap. your both being fake and putting on fronts. We get in little arguments here and there but don't get into big fights anymore. we listen to each other and always apologize. we take time to just talk about things. i see A LOT of my dad in him, in fact they were talking this weekend about these shows my mother and i will watch for hour after hour and how they both hate them. They are both very driven men who will hold their pride till the day they die. They both made there way up in this world just by working hard. Maybe it's true, maybe daughters do want to marry guys like their father?

next step...cooper the dog. let me tell you something, get a dog before you marry someone. it really shows how much effort they are going to put into your family. jeff and cooper have been the funniest duo to watch ever. cooper just follows him around everywhere. and jeff bless his sole is trying to teach him every trick int he book. it really has painted a picture as to how great jeff is going to be with kids one day. 

we made it through some events that no 2 people have been through together. and were stronger then ever now! my family absolutely adores him, i know my bestest dose too, and he really is the prize in my cereal box. the most patient and kind human on earth. i could not imagine one day with out him in my life. 

did i fall in love with jeff at first sight? no. did i have my doubts these past 2 and 1/2 years? yes. do i love him with all my heart? yes. will we get married one day and start our own family together? with out a doubt. 

the thing i love most about us is that it just happened. we never rushed anything. so many people would make remarks about how weird it was that we wouldn't say i love you for the longest time or other things. but we did it at our own pace and created this fairytale story of two people who became friends first then fell in love. We sat outside on my porch the other night (wine for me beer for him) just talking and enjoying the fresh cool air. i'll find us laying on my living room floor just talking about the most random things. 

jeffrey scoot hazzard you are the love of my life!

p.s. sorry for all the punctuation and grammar errors. i just like typing as it comes and not worrying about that.

Growing boys

It really does seem like just yesterday my nephews were in diapers...then with the blink of an eye they are on baseball teams and learning Karate! I stole these pictures from my sisters facebook page and just had to share them. I cannot believe these little geniuses are becoming young men so fast. As you may have read on here before these 2 are some of the smartest kids under 10 I have ever known. Lee, the oldest, is becoming quite the handsome young fella and I'm sure going to be a charmer with the ladies. Ed, the baby, is so witty and funny and way too smart for his own good. I know my dad is loving having 2 boys finally in a family of all girls. I can only imagine the proud look in his eyes as he saw his grandson on the baseball field. 

 Pa watching over his pride and joy

I love this picture because you can see Ed in the background watching his big bro

He looks like such teenager in this picture though he's only 9!

Up to bat...Lee!

Little Ed in his Karate class

Too too cute

Can't wait to see this in person

And off in his little Ed land...probably singing a song in his head

Love these 2 boys so much! They are going to make great role models for my future children one day.

COOPSTER

Jeff reminded me last night that I hadn't made any posts about our little cooper. If you don't know we got cooper the 1st of March 2010. He was 2 months old at the time, Maltese/Poodle mix and was estimated at 5-7 pounds full grown. Well Well Well, he is 9 months old and probably weighs around 15 pounds! That's right our tiny toy puppy isn't so tiny.

BUT I wouldn't trade him for anything. He really is the sweetest pup there ever was. Don't get me wrong he is still a puppy and has his moments of barking, tearing into toilet paper, chewing on flip flops, and accidents. However I've learned that it's more the owners who have to compromise too in living with a new puppy.

1. Don't leave flip flops on the floor. Easy.
2. The barking will decrease as he gets older. He is a puppy.
3. He is pretty much accident free now. But it is our responsibility to take him out, he can't let himself out.

He loves to snuggle right by your head at night and most of the time will stay right there and sleep till around 7am (when i get up anyway). He is in heaven when we take him for walks outside. Just can't get enough of the fresh air and all the different smells.

We have been working on tricks for a while now and he got sit down pretty quickly. Shake was not so easy BUT FINALLY last night he got it! Jeff and I were ecstatic! We had been working with him for so long and he just couldn't get it till yesterday! I don't have any pictures with me at work right now but I'll make another post in the near future with some of our little guy.

We love you Cooper!

picture-less post...

It's finally fall and the weather is ahhhhh-mazing! Jeffy and I have been taking Cooper on walks almost everyday now that it has cooled down. This is my absolute favorite weather month. Leaves are falling, outside is perfect for porch and wine, simply vannnnnnnderful.

This weekend was pretty great too. TX vs OU in Dallas, well we all know how that went. BUT every year my parents for some weird reason make a weekend trip to Austin during OU weekend. This year Jeffy took off from the bar and we had the nicest Saturday night in with my folks. They arrived around noon on Saturday and dad showed off his new truck to Jeff that he had just purchased earlier in the week. This thing has every bell and whistle you can imagine, but very well deserved by my hardworking father. He spends a lot of time in his truck driving to and from work 5 days a week so after having his last truck for 10 years it was time for an upgrade. And boy oh boy did he upgrade. We headed lunch followed by of course a trip to specs. Then dad and Jeffy watched the end of the game as mom and I headed to Lowe's to check out some new carpet. My parents are upgrading their kitchen, carpet upstairs, and laundry room. This means ALL new appliances, new counters, new carpet, new washer/dryer...the works! Can't wait to see the finished project before Christmas.

That night we took my parents to the Melting Pot downtown. Nom nom nom! Love that place. It was extra nice because they placed us in one of the private rooms so we really got to enjoy our own conversation and the whole experience with out anyone else around. After dinner we all headed to my apartment and just enjoyed some wine and a game of sactergories. It was such a nice change of pace for Jeffy and I to get to spend some quality time with my parents and stay in on a Saturday night.

The parentals left early Sunday. I took my little from BBBS to see a movie then came home just to change and head to another movie with Jeffy and a co-worker of mine and his girlfriend. We saw Social Network and it was very good! The best part was just seeing how facebook really developed to what it is today. It's something I do everyday and being able to see the story of how it came about was very interesting to me.

Overall it was a very relaxing and enjoyable weekend. Very low-key for a change of pace.

Happy Monday!